If looks could kill . . .

Last night, I had a strange dream that I felt like sharing. Why do I discuss my dreams on this blog so much, you might ask? I guess my real life is just boring enough that I need to supplement it with my fantasy life. Oh well. On to the dream.

In this dream, I was a deadly assassin. I can’t imagine what made me dream that. The beginning of the dream is a little blurry now. I remember going into an office to get my assignment. The office was small, a little bigger than your average cubicle. The walls were all glass. There was no one in the office, but my assignment was sitting on the desk.

I set out to take out my mark. It all happened pretty quickly. I remember being at some sort of man-made body of water. It was like an artificial pond, in a very urban area. I remember that’s where the hit took place. I was very stealthy: like a ninja. Basically, I walked up to the guy, quickly pulled a blade out of my coat, drew it across his neck, and walked away as he fell into the pool, his blood draining into the crystal clear water.

I had to go meet some friends: two women. I don’t remember the reason. I think it was a double date, and we were meeting the other guy wherever we were going. We were meeting nearby, so I walked to the meeting point. They had no idea what I had just done. Obviously, even my closest friends couldn’t know the secret of my occupation. We met, and were going somewhere else, but I had to quickly report in at work, first. So, we drove by the headquarters so I could report in to my boss. I told them to wait for me outside, and I would be right back.

I went to the same office I was at previously. My boss was there this time. She was a short woman in her late 60’s. She was wrinkly, with gray hair, and not what I would expect from a person who regularly sent people off to kill others. She started complaining about something as soon as I walked in the door. I don’t know what it was because I really didn’t care. I mean, really. I go out and do my job like anybody else, and all she can do is complain. Anyway, she had my file sitting on her desk. I picked it up, and started leafing through it, trying to pretend I actually cared what she said to me. I came across something interesting in my file. It mentioned a new team that I was to head, and had the names and pictures of the three other members.

A couple minutes later, the three members of my new team walk into the office. It’s two girls and a guy. They’re all dressed sort of punk, the guy more goth-punk. I addressed them all by their first names, and shook their hands. The guy is really skinny, has straight, black hair that covers most of his face. As I shake his hand, he just lets out a sigh.

The first girl had long curly, black hair. As I extend my hand, she extends her left hand. I think, “whatever, okay.” So, I extend my left hand, and give her one of those old-fashioned hand-to-wrist handshakes. She seemed pleased.

The second girl was bald, and didn’t have a nose. As I shake her hand, she groan-sighs, “Alright.” I sense something is wrong, and want to get off to a good start with my new team. I also want to establish that I’m not taking crap from them. I sternly ask, “Is something wrong?” Sigh. “This morning … I … my boyfriend …” Then she mumbled something, and stared into space.

I then notice through the glass walls that the girls who were waiting for me outside have entered the building looking for me. They hadn’t quite noticed me yet.

The first girl turns to me and says, about the other girl, “She’s always like that.” Before I can respond, she continues, “I’m really excited to be working with you, Dan Jones. How old are you? ‘Cause I was talking to my girlfriend the other day and she …” I stopped paying attention. This girl is apparently star-struck, and I don’t want to deal with it right now. It seems I’ve got some serious training to do with these three. I can’t imagine why that old hag put me with them.

About this time, the two girls who should have patiently waited for me outside walked into the door. “Dan, are you ready? Oh, hi! I’m Dan’s friend.”

The alarm goes off and my career as an assassin ends.