After work today, I picked up my fiancée and we went back to my apartment. Over the last weekend, we had gone down to California, among other things, to pick up the remainder of her belongings from her parents, and bring them back to Texas. We got back Tuesday, but have not finished unloading all of her stuff from the U-Haul. You see, she has a lot of stuff. Some of it will go to her current apartment. A lot of it will stay in my apartment. Anything left over will be put in a storage unit. So, the U-Haul has been mostly sitting at my apartment complex since then, and she has been going through it to figure out what can go where. Since nothing is really organized in the truck, this process can take a while. Hopefully we’ll be done by Saturday, because that’s when we have to return the truck.

So, the result of all of this is that basically we have been moving her stuff into my apartment for most of the evening, and organizing it somewhat. Or in other words, we have been turning my apartment more into our apartment. It’s actually a pretty good feeling.

In between all the packing and stuff, we also played some board games, ate dinner while watching some TV, and so forth. When it came time to go, we got on my motorcycle, Jill, and headed back to her place. Right as I pulled onto the highway, I had a wonderful experience. One might call it an epiphany, but I will call it an inspired message.

Let me describe the situation. It was a cool night, about 70 degrees, but going down the road at 70 mph with my jacket partially open, the wind chill brought it down to about the upper 40s or lower 50s. It felt great. I was sitting atop my speedy little motorcycle, Jill. I wasn’t flying down the highway, giving her a real workout, but the feel of her warmth between my legs, the rumble of the pavement beneath, the movement as we swerve around the traffic is a wonderful feeling. And to top it all off, sitting behind me, is an amazing, beautiful, fantastic woman, whom I love with everything I have, and who will soon be my wife. My fiancée, Kali, is sitting there, and I can feel her legs against my thighs, and her hands resting lightly on my waist. I’m reminded of all that we’ve shared, and all that she means to me.

As this is happening, a feeling comes over me. But it wasn’t just a feeling, it was a message from my God. He said to me, “Daniel,” (He always calls me “Daniel,” never “Dan”) “I have put you here to have joy. The people I have placed in your life, and the experiences I have given you are for that purpose. Cherish them.”

I truly have a blessed life. My family (present and future), my friends, my good times, and my bad times make me a better person, and bring me more joy. I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why the Lord blesses me so, but I know that he does, and for that, I am truly grateful.

As I mentioned earlier today, I interviewed for the JET Program yesterday. One of the questions, as I said, was about how I, as a Christian, would cope with living in a Buddhist country. I gave some answer about how I get along just fine with people of every religion, and that I would be fine worshiping, if I had to, on my own.

Today in Institute class, we were reading in Moses 6, which says, in verse 17: "And Enos and the residue of the people of God came out from the land, which was called Shulon, and dwelt in a land of promise." We talked for a bit about "lands of promise." We discussed the various times in history when the children of God have been asked to leave a place, and go to a land of promise, a place of safety and refuge where they would be protected from the world: Enos and his children going to Cainan, Moses and the children of Israel venturing into Canaan, Brigham Young and the early Mormons crossing the frontier to Utah. We then talked about how today, we build our own lands of promise wherever we live. A thought came to me. In certain times of history, the Lord has required the children of God to leave a part of the world physically, and separate themselves so that, as a people, they can grow, and progress spiritually. We aren’t asked to do that in our time. We are asked to do something much harder. We’re required of the Lord to remain in the world physically, and separate ourselves spiritually so that we can grow and progress as individuals and families.

As I thought about this, my thoughts went back to my interview the day before when I was asked how I would deal with living in a Buddhist nation. I realized then that if I go to Japan, I will be physically separated more from the "lands of promise" which I have developed more than I ever have been in my life. Right now, I have my family a few hours away, and countless friends in the Church to support me when I need it. When I was in Scotland, I was in a land where there weren’t many members of the church, but I was constantly surrounded by other missionaries, and my mission president. I was in Germany for some time, away from my spiritual support, but it was only for a short time, and the ward in that town was still fairly large.

I may end up in a small village where I’m the only member of the Church, and I may be in a branch that meets several few hours away, and only has twenty members. I may not have the support structure that I have here. I may be venturing into Babylon, and if I, like one whose name I share, get thrown into the lion’s den, I need to be ready to close their mouths. I was looking at this as an opportunity to learn more about another culture and language, and to expand my skills, but this could, likely be a challenging spiritual journey for me as well. I’m going to need to shore up my spiritual reserves.

Ok, so this has been making the rounds on Facebook, so I thought I’d give it a shot. Here are 25 random facts about me.

1. The idea of living in one place one’s entire life (even just childhood life) is so very foreign to me, that when someone tells me that’s exactly what they’ve done, I shudder a little inside, and pity them a bit.
2. On the flip side of that, I don’t really understand the concept of home, and once in a very rare (and I mean very rare) while I envy those who do.
3. I first recognized this lack of understanding when I was in junior high Latin class and asked my teacher to explain the difference between domus and casa. I didn’t fully understand his explanation. It wasn’t until years later that I realized I wasn’t going to understand the concept in Latin if I couldn’t understand it in English.
4. Even though I don’t understand home, I understand family very well, and am so blessed to have a great family who’s always (and will always) be there for me, even when thousands of miles away.
5. I daydream a lot about having superpowers, or being a super genius.
6. The superpower I usually daydream about having is shape-shifting. I think that, as an actor, being a shape-shifter would be incredibly useful to me, as I would be able to look like any character at all.
7. I love linguistics. I’m fascinated by different languages, because I think that the way a culture communicates says more about that culture than anything else.
8. I’d love to be one of those people who can speak about a dozen or so languages. I hope to become one of those people someday.
9. I’m a little bit accident-prone.
10. When I was about 11, we had this huge pine tree in our back yard. It was about three stories tall, I think. One day I climbed up to the top of it (where it’s very thin, and swayed a lot), and waited for my mom to come out. I just wanted to hear "Daniel Ray Jones, get down from there right now." When she finally came out, she did not disappoint me.
11. I probably shouldn’t tease my mom like that.
12. She’s going to read this and be mad that that was intentional.
13. I used to love school, but somehow, my last few semesters of college sucked that right out of me.
14. Even still, I’d like to get a second degree, because I still love to learn, and recognize the benefit of a structured learning environment. I have no desire to get a master’s though.
15. Someday, I will learn bladesmithing.
16. I cry at movies, books, etc. more than I probably should. I generally try to make sure it’s not noticeable, unless I’m on a date, and know that the girl is in to sensitive guys.
17. I really like J-Pop.
18. I also like nu metal, screamo, rock, pop, alternative, and a bunch of other musical styles.
19. I really want to stop biting my nails, but have never really put any effort into doing so.
20. If I had to choose one food to eat for the rest of my life, it would be pizza. Yes, I realize that if I did that, I’d probably die in five years at 500 lbs. and unable to move, but at least I would die happy. (except, of course, for the horribly painful heart attack)
21. I’d like to die a very, very old man, in a huge, horrible accident. No boring "peacefully in his sleep" crap for me. When people hear of my death, they should cringe and say, "Oh, that’s awful!"
22. I have a lot of scars, the origin of most of which I do know.
23. My original plan was to make a list of 24 fake facts about me, and have the last one say that others weren’t true. I decided that sounded lame.
24. This post has 679 words, 46 sentences, a Gunning fog index of 9.3, a Flesch-Kincaid level of 6.2, and a Flesch Reading Ease score of 77.
25. Sometimes I think there might be something wrong with me.

So, today is my first day back at work after the holidays. My whole department got two weeks off for Christmas and New Year’s and I spent most of it lying in my bed thinking I was going to die.

First, I went up to Carthage, TX to spend Christmas with my family. I had had a cough since about October, and it was almost gone when I left Austin. When I got to Carthage, I discovered that my cough decided to pick back up. So, I spent Christmas and a few days after coughing. Not a big deal, but unpleasant.

On the 29^th, I headed back down to Austin. It was a great ride. Long, mostly empty, curvy country roads to go nice and fast. Very fun! I noticed something very strange when I got home and started to settle in, though. I was sore all over my body. I couldn’t figure out why that would be. I figured it out later, though. The flu was setting in, and was making me physically weak: as weak as a baby kitten. You see, the soreness was caused by strong winds (when you’re riding a motorcycle at 70 mph, all you’ve got are strong winds) pressing against my body. But at the time I couldn’t figure out what it was and by the next day, with the soreness gone, I forgot.

That day, though, I was starting to feel a bit of malaise. Nothing very specific, just a general feeling of unease. The day after (New Year’s Eve) was much the same. That night, there was a church dance. I was excited for this, although with a greater feeling of unwellness setting in, my excitement was waning. The dance was pretty fun, but I was having trouble keeping up with everything. When I would dance to the fast songs, I would get a headache. Finally, I just decided to sit them out altogether and be a wallflower. I had a reasonably good time talking with my friends, and occasionally dancing to the slow songs. At one point, one of my friends came up to me and asked me if I would give her a blessing, as she was feeling sick. I didn’t mind, and we went into a room off to the side, along with our bishop, so he and I could give her a blessing. She knew I was feeling unwell, and after the blessing, she said to our bishop, "You know, Dan’s been feeling sick, too." "Well, I can give you a blessing, too," he says. "No, I’ll be fine. If I’m worse in the morning, I’ll get one from my roommates," I stubbornly respond.

Well, the evening proceded, we watched the ball drop at midnight, and then they served breakfast right after. By that time, I was feeling very unwell, so as soon as I ate my breakfast, I went home without any socializing. The next morning, I could barely get out of bed. Soreness all over my body yet again (riding home), a cough that no cough drop at my disposal could stop, a pounding headache, and a general feeling that nothing was right in the world. I stumble out of my room to see my roommate Russ lying on the coutch. "Russ, I’m gonna need you to give me a blessing," I’m barely able to vocalize. Russ was the only one home who could give the blessing, and we wanted another to assist, so we called up some friends who lived down the street. One of them was on his way home, so he stopped by, and they gave me a great blessing that left me feeling like maybe I wouldn’t actually die right at the moment.

My other roommate, Rodd, went out and got me some better drugs than we had in the house, including some cough drops that actually include an anesthetic, which is much more effective than traditional cough drops. At least with this medicine, I wasn’t in complete pain and misery. Despite the drugs, though, I would still occasionally erupt into a coughing fit. If I tried to eat anything, the coughing would usually accompany throwing up. Sometimes, when I hadn’t even eaten anything, I would throw up. I’m not sure what was coming up (I assume stomach acid), but it was disgusting. The fever that had set in meant I was constantly sweating. My entire head was constantly soaked. All that salt on my scalp made it so that I could actually feel where my hair follicles came out my scalp. I fealt like I was some sort of male Gorgon.

That night brought the hallucinations. I’m still not sure what I was hallucinating, but a feeling of uncertainty ran through the entire episode. As I was trying to get to sleep that night, I started to see things. I’m not sure what these things were. I didn’t know where I was, when I was, who I was, or even what I was. I was floating through a sea of ambiguity, with random sounds, images, colors, tastes, and smells. Nothing was familar, but since I didn’t even know if I was human, that wasn’t too surprising. At one point, back in the real world, my hand slipped down my face, forcing me back for a moment. I tried to ground myself and figure out was going on, when I fell back into the trance. This went on for some time longer, until I tried to force myself back. I succeeded, but again, only for a moment. After a while, I tried again, and this time, when I came back, I sat up in my bed, to help ground me in reality. I looked around for a moment, still confused. I was still not sure who, or what I was. Suddenly it came flooding back, and I said it all out loud. "Your name is Daniel Jones. You live in Austin, TX. You’re an actor, and a website designer. You work for the University of Texas …" This went on until I was absolutely sure I knew who I was, and I wasn’t about to slip back into whatever-the-crap-that-was. I got a drink of water, then went to the bathroom. I had another coughing fit, and threw up in the toilet some more. I wondered if this thing was going to kill me, but was sure it wasn’t, because I was promised in a blessing that I would get better. I HAD to believe that. I went back to bed, and this time, fell asleep properly.

The next day brought much the same as the day before. My roommates did their best to take care of me. I just laid on the couch, coughed, slept, and sweated. I would try to eat, and would usually fail. One thing I had noticed the day before was that if I laid flat on my back, I coughed less. I also noticed that if I laid on my back for a while, I would get a pain near the top-right corner of my back. I tried this day to work it out with the massage chair. It helped a bit, but it would just come back when I laid down for a while. I tried lying on my side, but that wasn’t as comfortable, and I discovered that if I did that, I would get a pain in my side. It was from this that I realized that I had become incredibly weak. My body was no longer strong enough to support its own weight. I would just have to deal with the pain, and hope it would end soon, and take Extra-Strength Tylenol™.

The next day brought a little bit of hope. I hadn’t hallucinated the night before. I was no longer getting pains from lying down. On the down-side, I had now watched EVERYTHING on our DVR, so I had to watch live TV. Of course, I had stuff downloaded that I could watch, but that meant I’d have to switch the TV from the DVR, to the computer, and controlling your shows with a keyboard, rather than a remote, is quite a hassle, and I was really not feeling up to it.

The next day was Sunday. I wasn’t well enough yet to go to church, but I had improved a huge amount over the night. I felt like this was actually nearing its end. I was actually going to survive! I probably could’ve actually managed to make it through the three hours of church, but I felt like my coughing would’ve been so distracting to everyone, that I was better staying home.

Apparently, that day, the couple of people who hadn’t already heard I was ill were informed at church. I got so many facebook messages, txts, IM messages and so forth from people enquiring after my health. It was nice to know that so many people were concerned for me.

By the next day, I was actually well enough that I could eat food! That was good, because I had checked my weight on Wii Fit. It said I had lost over 8 pounds while I was sick. Wii Fit told me I was losing weight too fast, and needed to focus more on maintaining my health. That’s a pretty smart game. I was also feeling well enough that day that I could actually leave the house all on my own. I only went to the gas station and the grocery store (to buy more cough drops), but that was a major improvement. That night was our monthly AARP-FHE. It was on the north-ish side of town. I didn’t go there on my own, but I did go. There was a potluck dinner, and I ate a little. Then I managed through all of the lesson, and socializing afterwards. I was definitely feeling good about my improvement.

And that brings us to today. Last night I actually got a full night’s sleep. Today, I brought myself to work, and my coughing is just barely there. By tomorrow, I may not need the cough drops anymore.

And so, that is my adventure with my Christmas flu. I learned two very important things from this. First, I learned that I have an awful lot of friends who really care about me, and are there to take care of me whenever I need it. I guess they know that I would do the same for any of them. Second, I learned that if someone is offering free flu shots (to all UT faculty, staff, and students), I should take it.

A friend of mine recently told me about The JET Programme. This is a program run by the Japanese government to get English speakers to come to Japan. I’ve been feeling lately like I need to go somewhere (well, to be honest, I always feel like I need to go somewhere), and I’ve wanted to go to Japan for a while. Also, one of my goals in life is to able to converse in at least one language native to every continent. I’ve already got Europe covered with English and German. I chose Japanese for Asia, mainly because I watch a lot of anime.

Well, this program seems like something I would really enjoy. I think I would really like living in Japan, and I think it would be great to be able to teach children English. Living in Japan would give me great experience with the Japanese language, so hopefully after living there for a year, I should at least be able to hold a conversation.

So, the program is basically a year-long contract. I apply at the Japanese embassy, and if I’m accepted, they arrange for me to get a contract with a school somewhere in Japan. The contract lasts for one year, and at the end of that year, if I and the school would like, I can renew my contract for another year. I can do that four times, for a total of five years. The application for next year should be available this Thursday, and if I’m accepted, I would leave for Japan late next July or early August.

Of course, the hardest part would be being away from my friends and family, whom I love. I wouldn’t lose contact, of course. Between email, IM, telephone, and Facebook, it’d be like I’m practically still here in Austin, except that I wouldn’t be.

The other difficulty would be Joe Stryker. Now that we’ve finally got it off the ground, I’d hate to put it on hold for an indeterminate amount of time. I’ve already decided that if I do go, I’ll take a webcam with me, and will still do StrykerMail clips. Plus, maybe we’ll know an animator or two by then and can switch the format to an animated show. That would be fun. In any case, we’d try to film as many episodes before I leave as we can.

But as for me wanting to do this, there is no question. It may seem impulsive. I heard about this program on Saturday, and now I’ve already decided I want to uproot my life, and go to Japan. But I feel like it’s something that would be really good for me, and maybe I would be able to help others, in the process.

I’d certainly like to hear what you guys think about it.

So, I’m in Carthage, TX right now to visit my family. The ride to Carthage is quite a long one (6-7 hours), so I saw a lot of different things on the way here.

As I was leaving Taylor on the way up here, I was riding right along a train track. There was a train, about 30 cars long, going along the tracks, probably about 55 miles/hour. As I passed it, I saw a small road that went right over the tracks.

I had the best (or worst) idea. My idea was to take a sudden, sharp right turn, and drive right over the tracks, mere inches in front of the train. It would be just like in an action movie.

Maybe it’s a good thing that I didn’t do it. I would have had to wait for the train to pass to cross back to get onto the main road. Oh, and of course there was the risk of me killing myself. That would have been bad, too, I guess. But it could have been amazing.

This post is not actually about Smurfs. I will not discuss the language of the Smurfs. (They obviously speak English and Die Schlümpfe speak German.) This post is actually about linguistics. Most of you can feel free to stop reading now. I won’t be offended. Unless you’re my mother, this will probably not interest you.

There is an interesting linguistic feature known as infixes. An infix is a word or morpheme that is placed in the middle of a word. This is practically non-existent in Standard English. It is fairly common in Austronesian and Austroasiatic languages. In Tagalog, for example, <um> is placed inside a verb to make it something like the active voice. For example, the borrowed English word graduate becomes grumaduate to mean “I graduated.”

Although it’s not common in Standard English, it’s often found in Colloquial English. For example, in Snoop Speak, <iz>, <izz>, or <izn> are often used as infixes producing words like hizouse (house), wizzay (way), or shiznit (sh**). A few more great examples are found in The Simpsons, uttered by Homer. For example, in the following dialogue between Homer and baby Lisa:

What do you like Lisa? violamin? tubaba?

Lisa : I want THAT.

Homer : Saxamaphone?

The most common infix in colloquial English I will call the f-word infix (Wikipedia calls it expletive infixation, but I like my term better: take that, linguists). I call it this because the f-word (mostly in its present participial form), and it’s substitutes (freakin’, fraggin’, fudging, etc.) are the most common words used for this type of infix. In Britain, bloody is usually used. The purpose of this infix is to add emphasis to the word. So, we end up with words like absofrigginlutely, and fanbloodytastic. Well, my most common usage of this form is unbe-freaking-lievable. Technically, these aren’t exactly infixes, but rather Tmesis. It’s close enough to being the same thing, though, that I’m going to call them the same thing. Infix is a lot easier word to remember than Tmesis (those crazy Greeks).

Now, what does this have to do with the Smurfs? Well, today I read an article about the Smurfs. The content of the article has nothing to do with this post. But the author used the word “Un-smurfing-believable.”

Well, as soon as I read it, I thought, “That sounds weird. Why didn’t he write ‘Unbe-smurfing-lievable?’ That’s where the stress naturally falls.” Well, I looked up the article on wikipedia about the f-word infix, and it said:

A simple rule is that the insertion occurs at a syllable boundary, usually just before the primary stressed syllable. Thus, one hears abso-fuckin’-lutely rather than *ab-fuckin’-solutely. This rule is insufficient to describe examples such as un-fuckin’-believable (not *unbe-fuckin’-lievable), however, so modifications to this rule are proposed such as morpheme boundaries taking precedence over stress.

This blew my mind. Have I been saying it wrong all my life? Am I the only person who puts the infix inside the believe, rather than before it? I don’t know. Further study is required, but it’s midnight now, and I have to sleep. It will have to wait until the morning.

zombie ‘07 by Misteriddles

I came across an article on how to kill a zombie. It’s really a top ten list. It got me thinking. Being a zombie would be a horrible thing. So I implore you of my friends and family: if I ever become a zombie, please kill me.

This is no joke. I would hate to live a life of eating brains, without a functioning one of my own. So, in the event that I ever become an unwilling soldier in the army of the undead, please put a bullet straight in my head. Other methods of disposal are welcome, just so long as you put me out of my (and everyone else’s) misery.

Of course, this isn’t simply a one-sided request. I want each of you, my loved ones, to know that if you were to become a zombie, I would do the same for you. After all, that’s what friends are for.

Well, I’m sitting in my Physics class, bored by the teacher because he’s reviewing Calculus that I learned in high school, so I decided this would be a good time to post about my new nephew. Shawn Logan Deshazer (he’s being called Logan), was born last Wednesday. He’s my big sister’s first child, and it’s my first time becoming an uncle. He’s an adorable little boy.

If you’re using a major web browser other than Internet Explorer, you’ll see a picture of him and I here.