Dan’s Musings

Many of you, my friends, are already aware of the difficulty I and my roommates have been having in deciding on a name for our new house, and the online poll we created in order to settle what it should be called.

The voting has been going on for a week now, and will be open until the end of this week. I’d like to remind all of you who haven’t yet voted that we’d really like your input, so please go and vote now. If you have already voted, you may change your vote by simply re-voting, if you’ve changed your mind. There are, in fact, new names that weren’t there when the polls originally opened. We’ve been adding some of the better suggestions that we’ve been getting.

So, everyone please help us decide on a name. This could, in fact, be more important than the naming of your first-born child.

So, I recently read on Stephanie Hall’s blog about an interesting color quiz. It’s a personality quiz that tells you about yourself based on colors you pick. While I don’t think my results are particularly accurate, I thought they were interesting. I particularly found it interesting that I am “able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity.” Everything seems to be telling me lately that I need to get married. Anyway, here’s my results for your enjoyment.

Your Existing Situation

Readily participates in things that provide excitement or stimulation. Wants to feel exhilarated.

Your Stress Sources

Feels that life has far more to offer and that there are still important things to be achieved–that life must be experienced to the fullest. As a result, he pursues his objectives with a fierce intensity that will not let go of things. Becomes deeply involved and runs the risk of being unable to view things with sufficient objectivity, or calmly enough; is therefore in danger of becoming agitated and of exhausting his nervous energy. Cannot leave things alone and feels he can only be at peace when he has finally reached his goal.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Conditions are such that he will not let himself become intimately involved without making mental reservations.

Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity.

Insists that his goals are realistic and sticks obstinately to them, even though circumstances are forcing him to compromise. Very exacting in the standards he applies to his choice of a partner.

Your Desired Objective

Needs a peaceful environment. Wants release from stress, and freedom from conflicts or disagreement. Takes pains to control the situation and its problems by proceeding cautiously. Has sensitivity of feeling and a fine eye for detail.

Your Actual Problem

Needs to achieve a stable and peaceful condition, enabling him to free himself of the worry that he may be prevented from achieving all the things he wants.

So, I recently helped a friend move, and I’ve had a lot of experience over the past several years both helping people move, and being helped move, so I thought I’d write a couple tips about best practices for the person being moved.

First off, if the friend I helped move is reading this, don’t take it as an indictment against you at all. Even though you didn’t follow all the suggestions set forth here, it certainly wasn’t unpleasant. It was actually a fairly easy move. Now, let’s get on to it.

Firstly, the single most important thing is to be absolutely completely ready for them. Let me clarify what that means. When your friends arrive, make sure every single thing is packed up and ready to go. And make sure it’s all packed up well. Go get some boxes. Don’t throw your random knick-knacks into a laundry hamper; put them in a box or suitcase. Hanging clothes should be put into a garment box or hanging garment bag. Don’t expect them to do any packing at all. They’re there to help you carry stuff; that’s all. And if possible, gather all your stuff in an easy-to-get-to location.

Secondly, for goodness sakes, feed them. You’re not paying them, so you could at least give them some food. Food afterwards is good, but food beforehand is better. But not all food is ideal. Don’t feed them something heavy or greasy beforehand. That’ll make them groggy and make it harder for them (which will, consequently make it take longer). Before the move, something light that provides quick but lasting energy is good. Pastries and doughnuts is a great idea, because they provide both simple and complex carbohydrates. The simple will give immediate energy, while the complex will break down later and help them keep working. If you have a lot of stuff and the move will take a while, consider providing food both before and after. The food after can be something heavier (like pizza). And especially if you live in a hot climate, make sure there’s plenty of water easily available the whole time, in both locations.

Third, make sure you survey the areas through which things will be moved and try to identify problem spots beforehand, and try to work out what will probably be the easiest way around them. It makes things a lot easier if they know they’re going to carry a piano up three narrow flights of stairs (please don’t ever ask anyone to do that).

Finally, don’t give them a hard time at all. If they need to take a five-minute break, just let them, and don’t even jokingly criticize them for doing so. You are not paying them, so don’t expect them to work like they are. Don’t expect them to be professional movers, because they aren’t. If they nick the edge of your furniture, just ignore it. If you can’t afford any damage to come to your stuff, hire movers.

Right now I had planned to be at a dance at church. I was looking forward to it, because it’s been a while since I’ve been to a dance, but I had an experience that kept me from it.

Earlier today, I was at a film shoot. The shoot was in an abandoned building. There was no electricity and therefore no air conditioning, and it got quite hot. So, when I got home, I was quite tired, and decided to take a nap. I was going to nap for maybe an hour, then take a shower, and head off to the dance. So, after taking care of a couple things, I laid down on my roommate’s couch. Then was brought forth an event like no other. It was as if the couch did something to my mind, for I did not simply nap, but rather sleep was thrust upon me.

As I awoke, several hours later, I felt as if I were in another world. I looked around the darkened living room, and tried to determine where and when I was. To what distant land had I traveled? In what time had I found myself? Wasn’t I supposed to be dancing right now? For a few seconds, I wasn’t even sure of my own identity. So powerful was this sleep that my mind was still trying to remain in Dreamland, after the land had already withered away.

After about a minute or so of flitting to and fro between worlds, I was finally able to ground myself back in reality and determine exactly who, where, and when I was. But even now, half an hour later, my mind is still trying to pull me back to that Land of Nod, which I have recently departed. Such is the power of my roommate’s couch.

So, I got this idea from a Facebook note a friend of mine wrote. Here’s how it works:

1. Put your MP3 player or ipod on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. If you want, you may write the movie/album/artist

I’m not quite sure what to think of all of them, but whatever. There they are.

So, I’m in Carthage, TX right now to visit my family. The ride to Carthage is quite a long one (6-7 hours), so I saw a lot of different things on the way here.

As I was leaving Taylor on the way up here, I was riding right along a train track. There was a train, about 30 cars long, going along the tracks, probably about 55 miles/hour. As I passed it, I saw a small road that went right over the tracks.

I had the best (or worst) idea. My idea was to take a sudden, sharp right turn, and drive right over the tracks, mere inches in front of the train. It would be just like in an action movie.

Maybe it’s a good thing that I didn’t do it. I would have had to wait for the train to pass to cross back to get onto the main road. Oh, and of course there was the risk of me killing myself. That would have been bad, too, I guess. But it could have been amazing.

Well, I got a job today. I’ll be one of the web designers for the Mechanical Engineering Department at the University of Texas. It’s kind of ironic. I really wanted to get a job, because for the last year, I’ve been really sick of school (and by sick, I mean it was quite literally driving my crazy). Now I’m no longer going to classes, but I’m working at school. Oh well.

The job is part-time: 19 hours a week. Why 19 and not 20, I’m really not sure. I’m glad it’s part-time, because that means I’ll have time to devote to be able to do movies and plays (my real passion), and work on the new web design company my friend Abinadi and I are starting. Also, since they let me decide on my schedule, I put all my 19 hours on Tuesday through Thursday, so I always have a four-day weekend.

I found the job through my friend, Bryant Moscon. It was actually his job before, but he just got a better job, and they needed someone to replace him. He recommended me, and they jumped at it.

This job probably won’t be the most interesting thing for me to do, but at least it’s something for me to do. I’m glad it didn’t take me long to find it, and that I found it so easily. It’s really nice when things just work well.

When I was a child, I saw an episode of the Batman cartoon in which Bruce Wayne was trapped in a dream created by a machine made by the Mad Hatter. In this episode, Bruce discovers that he is dreaming because he can’t read. He claims that dreaming and reading are functions of opposite hemispheres of the brain, so it’s impossible to read in a dream. I always remembered that episode because I knew it was completely bogus the first time I saw it. I remembered reading in dreams. I knew it was possible. This was just another example of script writers who don’t do proper research.

I was just reminded of this episode when I awoke from a strange dream of my own. In this dream, I was part of some sort of competition. I think it was some sort of church activity and each of the wards were competing against each other. I believe it was an academic competition. There were several parts to it, and each ward had to select just one member to do each part. In one of the parts, we were asked to write a eulogy for a dead dog. Whoever wrote the best one would win. For some reason, I was selected to do this part. I was given biographical information, including a newspaper article that was written about him while he was still alive. There was something famous about this dog, but I don’t remember what. Part of it was his advanced age. He was 19 when he died. As I was working on this eulogy, I wanted to figure out how old he was in dog-years. There was a blackboard in the room they gave us to work, and so I wrote 19 × 7. For some reason, I couldn’t do the math. It didn’t make any sense. I screwed it up, so scratched it out, and started calculating again. I still couldn’t do it. I erased it with my hand, and wrote it again. This old man from one of the other wards was walking by the room, and saw my difficulty. He came in and tried to help. He pointed to what I was doing wrong, but he couldn’t figure it out either!

Then I woke up. This inability to do elementary school mathematics forced me out of my sleep. As soon as I was awake, I did the math in my head, and learned it was 133. Just to make sure I wasn’t crazy, I checked it with a calculator. Of course it was right, it’s a simple calculation, but I couldn’t do it in my sleep! It made me think of poor Bruce being unable to read a book. Though unlike Bruce, who couldn’t even make out the letters, I could clearly see and understand what the numbers were (I wrote them), I just couldn’t do anything with them. It was nearly the most frustrating experience of my life.

I recently had a part in a short film written and directed by my good friend, Arthur Kendrick. The film is titled “The Plumber and the Princess.” If you’ve ever played Mario Brothers, you already know the basic plotline of the film. This is not, however, simply a short version of the game. This is the Italian plumbers as you’ve never seen them before: gritty 1950s detectives. That’s right, this is a film noir version of Mario Brothers.

I play Bowser’s goon, Koopa. I hope you all enjoy it. Please rate it on YouTube, and tell all your friends.

This post is not actually about Smurfs. I will not discuss the language of the Smurfs. (They obviously speak English and Die Schlümpfe speak German.) This post is actually about linguistics. Most of you can feel free to stop reading now. I won’t be offended. Unless you’re my mother, this will probably not interest you.

There is an interesting linguistic feature known as infixes. An infix is a word or morpheme that is placed in the middle of a word. This is practically non-existent in Standard English. It is fairly common in Austronesian and Austroasiatic languages. In Tagalog, for example, <um> is placed inside a verb to make it something like the active voice. For example, the borrowed English word graduate becomes grumaduate to mean “I graduated.”

Although it’s not common in Standard English, it’s often found in Colloquial English. For example, in Snoop Speak, <iz>, <izz>, or <izn> are often used as infixes producing words like hizouse (house), wizzay (way), or shiznit (sh**). A few more great examples are found in The Simpsons, uttered by Homer. For example, in the following dialogue between Homer and baby Lisa:

What do you like Lisa? violamin? tubaba?

Lisa : I want THAT.

Homer : Saxamaphone?

The most common infix in colloquial English I will call the f-word infix (Wikipedia calls it expletive infixation, but I like my term better: take that, linguists). I call it this because the f-word (mostly in its present participial form), and it’s substitutes (freakin’, fraggin’, fudging, etc.) are the most common words used for this type of infix. In Britain, bloody is usually used. The purpose of this infix is to add emphasis to the word. So, we end up with words like absofrigginlutely, and fanbloodytastic. Well, my most common usage of this form is unbe-freaking-lievable. Technically, these aren’t exactly infixes, but rather Tmesis. It’s close enough to being the same thing, though, that I’m going to call them the same thing. Infix is a lot easier word to remember than Tmesis (those crazy Greeks).

Now, what does this have to do with the Smurfs? Well, today I read an article about the Smurfs. The content of the article has nothing to do with this post. But the author used the word “Un-smurfing-believable.”

Well, as soon as I read it, I thought, “That sounds weird. Why didn’t he write ‘Unbe-smurfing-lievable?’ That’s where the stress naturally falls.” Well, I looked up the article on wikipedia about the f-word infix, and it said:

A simple rule is that the insertion occurs at a syllable boundary, usually just before the primary stressed syllable. Thus, one hears abso-fuckin’-lutely rather than *ab-fuckin’-solutely. This rule is insufficient to describe examples such as un-fuckin’-believable (not *unbe-fuckin’-lievable), however, so modifications to this rule are proposed such as morpheme boundaries taking precedence over stress.

This blew my mind. Have I been saying it wrong all my life? Am I the only person who puts the infix inside the believe, rather than before it? I don’t know. Further study is required, but it’s midnight now, and I have to sleep. It will have to wait until the morning.