As you, my loyal readers (do I have loyal readers, other than my mom and sisters?) are aware, I have been anxiously awaiting word from the JET Program to find out if I will be spending the next year or so in Japan. I finally got word back from them last night. They selected me as an alternate. What that means is that if someone they accepted changes their mind about going, or if someone drops out after they’re there, I might get selected to take their place. So, anytime between now and December, I might get another email from them saying they want me after all. It also means that I still have to fill out the same paperwork as if I were going, without any guarantee that I will get accepted.
Needless to say, this is incredibly frustrating. It incredibly frustrates my job situation. Right now, I’m working part-time as an assistant webmaster at UT, in the ME department. They love me down here and there has been some serious discussion about making me full-time. Unfortunately this is a very involved and difficult process, because it involves creating a new position for me, so they’d have to entertain other applicants for the position, yada, yada, yada. And with recent budget cuts, it becames even more difficult, but even still, my boss, and my boss’s boss want to try to make it happen. But if I’m leaving for Japan later this year, it’s not worth it to them. I can’t tell them I’m going to stay, and a week after I’m made full-time tell them I’m going to leave.
The hardest part of this whole thing for me is that I prayed long and hard about this program before I applied, and He told me to go for it. I knew from the get-go that I should apply to this program. Unfortunately, He never told me I would get accepted, just that I should apply. That’s been really hard for me to accept. I had a long talk with Him last night. There were many tears and some angry voices (from me, not Him, of course). Eventually I came to realize that whatever happens, somehow this will all be for my good. Whatever He has in store for me, I know He loves me, and wants the best for me. So I just have to move forward, without seeing the path ahead, and trust in Him to lead me to a good place.